The Journal
by Gabsy422
Summary: This a collection of memories Edward Cullen has of his beloved wife Bella. He wrote them all down in a journal, and this story is a glimpse of how Edward Cullen experienced the event of life with his true love. Enjoy.
1. Chapter 1

SUMMARY: This a collection of memories Edward Cullen has of his beloved wife Bella. He wrote them all down in a journal, and this story is a glimpse of how Edward Cullen experienced the event of life with his true love. Enjoy.

A/N: I thought of this story when I got up this morning. I really hope it comes out all right J Please review! All right Goodbye!

October 3rd, 2010

Let me just get this straight. Im a grown man, I do not need to pour out all my emotions in writing, this is just a way for me to get a grip on whats going on within my life and I'm trying to think it over but its just too scrambled. And today, oh today, it fits in the perfect spot of oh my god, Im a goner. So Im going to try and get a handle on what is going on my mind so just bear with me. Today I saw her.

Her do you ask? Well that her has a name and it couldnt fit her more perfectly, Bella. Out of the fact that I could not get her out of my mind all day is the reason Im scribbling away at this dumb journal that my sister happened to place by nightstand. How she got in my apartment I will never know, but to tell you the truth, it kind of scares me.

Anyways back to the original source of my frustration with myself is Bella. The girl I met only nine hours ago. And it happened to be a meeting straight out of a cheesy romance novel, how coincidental. Out of the frustration I was having with the clients of the firm I stormed out of my office only to acknowledge my terrified secretary that I was taking my lunch break. I dont remember the people that were on the elevator with me, I cant remember the girl from Starbucks that gave me my latte in two seconds flat, but I do remember when I walked into central park and saw her.

Not to sound cheesy but I think I might of died and went to heaven because I saw an angel. There she was in all her beauty giggling along with the small children along her side. There must have been eleven children with her; she must have been a schoolteacher for maybe second or first graders? She was magnificent in her sexy yet professional pretty outfit of a black pencil skirt that was snug and very fitting around her small waist. She was also wearing a pretty white blouse with ruffles, she looked like she just stepped out of a world-class magazine with her little white flats.

But what really caught my breath was her deep wavy mahogany hair. I must have looked like a complete idiot staring at her gapingly. She didnt seem to notice to preoccupied with her energetic class, she seemed happy and laughing with the children it made my heart swell, at least thats what I think. I didnt mean too but I ended up following her around but made sure not to end up following her. The class seemed to adore her and persistently ask her questions about the park.

When she finally told the children that it was time to head back there was a chorus of awws and pouts. I felt like pouting myself. But then it dawned on me how would I see her again? I didnt know who she was but I knew her name from what the children were calling her. I needed to introduce myself and fast but before I could manage to stride over to where she was. My blackberry started to beep. I was going to press ignore but unfortunately it was the office number.

I sighed to myself and glanced at Bella who was now adjusting the hat upon a blonde girl with pigtails. God shed be one loving mother. Mother? Where did those thoughts come from? Just as I was about to fantasize another life with this mysterious woman, the beeping of my blackberry interrupted my thoughts.

With another sigh I answered the call. I remember I was agitated when I answered my secretary Jessica, who for the past three days was unnecessarily putting her manicured hands on my shoulder, my arm, and much to my distaste, my cheek. Once I ended the call saying I had lost track of time, I looked up expecting to see the mesmerizing teacher and her class but to my horror they were gone. I frantically looked all over the park but then realized the most depressing thought, I lost my chance.

To not see that angel felt like a bullet just went through my chest. And the most disturbing thought that went through my mind. She doesnt even know who I am. With much disappointment I went back to my office and threw myself at my work getting so much done that I was going to be quite bored for the next day.

Now I should get to bed and pray that hopefully soon, I would see that angel called Bella again and soon. Night and dont expect anymore late night writings to you, I'm not some Romeo whining about being exiled and not being able to see my Juliet, which I was understanding more and more.

* I hope you like my first Twilight Story attempt! And make sure to review they always make me smile and I love to hear opinions. My next chapter is when they are finally introduced and you have any questions, you can PM me and I'd be happy to answer you. Stay Wonderful. Love, Gabsy422!


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I dont own the Twilight Series, that honor belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

October 9th, 2010 11:57pm

Dont be so surprised to see an entry from me. Im only writing to tell you the news that I did end up meeting her. My mind has literally not had a moment of peace for at least six days now. Every single thought Ive had these days have been all centered all on Bella. When I saw a woman selling flowers on the side of the street I kept thinking, _I wonder if Bella likes flowers, would she like to receive a bouquet of roses? They would probably look nice in her classroom. _I almost purchased a bouquet of roses.

The one I vividly remember was when I was having a business dinner with some potential clients, I saw an elderly couple sitting across my table having coffee while holding hands across the table. They kept giving one another tender looks while they sipped their coffee, but they never talked just looked at one another. I kept thinking _are my thoughts about Bella centered on the big four-lettered word? Love? Ive never even spoken to her and theres always the fact that she doesnt even know who I am. Could I grow old with Bella? And love her? _Thats when an atomic bomb went off in my mind. One word, **yes**.

Thats why Im so grateful today. Today is Saturday so its one of my favorite days of the week because its when I finally get a break. So therefore its my day off. At around ten in the morning I went on my usual jog. And when I got back to my apartment, I went to my bedroom to grab the damn shaving cream that I had recently got and then I noticed something on my bed. Of course Alice had somehow gotten into my apartment, and placed a brand new Armani dinner suit (A/N: website to suit on my profile) upon my bed with a note scribbled in my sisters scribble handwriting. All I remember after reading is that I had a mega migraine and immediately went to my medical cabinet to grab some ibuprofen. My sister invited me (demanded me) to go her dinner party to present her clients and she made it very clear for some reason to look my best and that our parents, my brother and his wife, were also attending so I wouldnt suffer alone. The thing is the people that attend these dinner parties are extremely vain and extremely selfish. Its very hard to have conversations with these type of people, dont get me wrong there are people that are actually pretty okay at these events just there arent a lot of them. The only people I actually tend to stick around with are my own family. I only go to these to support my baby sis, but hey she maybe a pushy little pixie but shes my pushy little pixy. Also she wanted to introduce me to her new roommate. Whoever that is.

At around 8:10ish I arrived at Alices party. It was a small nice building, just Alices type for a formal party. After ten minutes of attending the party I was already sick of the people at the party. The women especially, because no one could take my eye like Bella had. I was about to go diving into my Bella thought pool when all of sudden I noticed someone on the dance floor. I almost dropped my glass of wine that I forgot I was even holding. It was like my mind was playing a sick joke on me or fate was taking its course. There she was, my angel, my Bella. I dont know where this sense of entitlement came from claiming Bella as mine, but damn I didnt mind it. Oh god my memory didnt do her justice at all. She was absolutely stunning. Especially in that dress, she did make white and black look good, but then I noticed something. Who the hell was she dancing with? I dont know what came over me but I had to constantly keep myself in check from walking over to where she was and placing my arm around her waist protectively and to show any other male at this party that my Bella was off limits. But being the gentlemen I am, I could only just watch from a distance and just glare at that blonde man who looked a little too overjoyed to be holding her while they were dancing. Thats when the music changed, thank you God for Debussy. A slow song, just the right time to cut in and finally get to dance with my angel. As I was walking over towards Bella, I swear to god, out of the corner of my eye I saw my sister smirk while sneaking a drink from her flute of champagne. Alice cant hold her liquor very well but I couldnt help but wonder what she was smirking about. As I was making my way over the man was about to ask her to dance again until she saw me. Unlike other women who see me, Bella didnt ogle me and smirk while looking me up and down. She looked me directly in the eyes, but they began to widen. Dickface, excuse me, the guy who was previously dancing with her followed her line of sight and saw me, he instantly narrowed his eyes at me, the feeling between us was mutual. To my surprise he just whispered to Bella then left the dance floor. What a _Wuss_. As I was trying to get past a few dancing couples the one thing I noticed was that we never broke eye contact. When I finally reached her, we were barely twelve inches apart.

When she finally noticed that she was staring, she did something that usually wouldnt take my breath away, but it did. She blushed crimson, and sadly looked down. What also made smile was that she looked to have a nervous habit as well as me. She bit her lip, when she was nervous. Just like when I constantly put my fingers in my hair or when I pinch the bridge of my nose. But what made me very happy was that she didnt walk away, or nod at me and scurry off. She just stood there looking down at the ground. When she finally looked up she asked me a question that made myself look a bit flushed. Have I seen you somewhere before? She asked with her head slightly tilted to the side. I totally blanched on how to answer that. Hmm.. Ill figure it out later She said with a small smile. Her smile was contagious and the thought made me chuckle. She raised one eyebrow at me with the small smile still in place. She was polite. I realized I had to say something before she thought as some awkward creep. Would you like to dance? I asked with uncertainty. She blushed again while looking down at the ground. I found myself giving her a small smile, _man, _shes too precious for her own good. Id love too but She glanced at me then blushed again. The wave of rejection was taking over me, for a second I felt so alone. I mean how else could I describe rejection without sounding like a wuss. Sensing my discomfort she put her hand on my shoulder. But something happened that I have never experienced ever from a womans touch. Bellas hand sent electricity throughout my entire body. This is what people write about in all those romance books. Oh my god they werent lying. I mean Ive seen my parents and I knew they were in love with each other and still were, and over the years my brother and sister found their husband and wife and fell in love. But for me, it just wasnt that way with me. All I had were just some dates there and then but nothing ever serious. My brother had suspicions that I was gay! I socked him in the stomach and almost destroyed him when he asked me if I had a butt-buddy yet. I visibly shuddered at the thought until her voice pulled me back, Im sorry, my friend Alec kind of dragged me onto the dance floor, I have two left feet, so just watch your toes because I might crush them with these stupid heels She said chuckling while lifting her right foot a little to the left chuckling at the three inch heel. She was carefree and kind, can she get any better. I found myself chuckling and said something that I question ever saying, Its all in the lead. I remember the small smile that she gave with a slight shake of her head. I then grabbed her small hand and placed a gentle kiss upon it. Once again she blushed, I would make it my life duty to make her blush that beautiful color. I dont know how long but we just stared into each others eyes searching. It was very intimate especially since our hands were now intertwined. She had the deepest chocolate eyes I had ever seen and they were gorgeous. Who was this girl, she cant be real. She has to be something straight out of my imagination, where did this goddess come from. Why am I sounding so corny, Im not Shakespeare! But god damn how am I supposed to describe someone like her. I need to sort out my feelings before I explode. I havent really had a conversation with her so lets not jump to conclusions. _And what conclusion would that be?_ I remember then grabbing her other hand and placing it on my shoulder while I put my other hand on her waist. Dear god she had a fine figure. Her waist was small and had all the right curves. She was fit. I didnt realize that I pulled her so close to me that I was able to nuzzle my nose through her hair, she was a bit startled and I swear I felt her shiver. I smirked at that thought. She pulled back a bit and looked me in the eye, it seemed she was searching them for something, but just couldnt find it because her gaze grew more sharp and then she asked one question that made me feel like Homer Simpson when he says Doh. I never got your name? She said with fake bewilderment, and her intelligent eyes sparkled. Did I just blush? I never blush. That can be added to the tally of how many times I've internally groaned. If you were to look idiot up in the dictionary, my picture would be an example. Oh Im sorry, its Edward. I answered staring back at her. She gave me a small smile and I gave her my crooked smile. That did the trick, she looked mesmerized but then blushed. _Ah there it is._ To keep up the charade of just meeting her I asked what her name was. My name is Isabella, but people call me Bella, especially the kids. She said with a far away look that made her smile. What kids? I asked with a slight smile, trying to show her that if she had kids I wouldnt mind, to my surprise. I came to the realization that whatever baggage Bella had I would be more than willing to help her carry it and protect it.

A/N: Edwards pen died.:( Next part coming up soon! Im sorry! I dont really know if I should continue this. But I would like to thank

Xoxoalice

Princessinblues

btaygal11

You guys gave me the boost to continue this story! Thank you for appreciation!

BTW, some random person (and when I mean random I mean some person probably to coward to leave their own account name) said some mean stuff about my friends story. Dont get me wrong I appreciate the advice and I know my friend welcomes advice as well, but honestly did you even consider how rude you put out your opinion. Thank you for reviewing, but please next time has some consideration that a first time writer doesnt need to have their first attempt at writing a fan fiction backhanded in the face. Next time leave a nicer and more polite review that shares your concern for the story, dont be so vulgar and have some consideration. I wont name the person but Ill tell you one hint, which employee does Michael Scott absolutely loath in the office on the show THE OFFICE? Thats right Im talking to you, buddy.


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